PERSUASION, NEGOTIATING, AND HOW TO BE AN INFLUENCER - BY LORI COOPER

 

Learn the Art of Persuasion in Everyday Life

By Lori Cooper

Persuasion isn’t just for salespeople. You’re influencing others all the time. You might be influencing your kids to do their homework or an employee to spend his Saturday working. When you can influence others effectively, you can get more done, and, let's face it: life is then so much easier. Work smart, not hard. Right?

Use time-tested techniques to influence the people in your life:

Understand reciprocity. There are few psychological phenomena better documented than the idea of reciprocity. In a nutshell, people are more likely to do something for you after you’ve done something for them. We tend to return favors.

Ask nicely. Saying “please” can get you further than you might think. Avoid acting as if you’re deserving of assistance. Ask nicely and say “thank you” afterward.

Tell the truth. It’s easier to influence others when you’re willing to be honest. It’s very challenging to speak or write mistruths successfully, especially to those that know you well. Honesty is often rewarded.

Do what you can on your own. We’re more likely to give assistance to those who are hard-working. It’s easier to feel compassion for someone that’s already doing everything they can to help themselves.

Treat others with kindness. We like to go along with those we admire and respect. We resist those that we view as unkind. You’re presented with countless opportunities each day to be a pleasant and helpful human being. Take advantage of them. People will be more easily influenced by you.

Tell them what’s in it for them. People are wondering, “What’s in it for me?” most of the time. It’s wonderful when people are willing to do your bidding out of the goodness of their hearts, but be realistic. If there’s a benefit to the other person, make it known.

Smile. Studies have shown that smiles open doors. Smile and people are more likely to respond positively. You’ll feel better, too. Smile at the beginning of any interaction, unless inappropriate.

Seek agreement. Find common ground. If you can get the other person to agree to several of your statements or ideas, they’ll be more likely to agree to your primary request. Understand what the other party wants and needs Find similarities between you and them.

Compliment them. A few sincere compliments can appeal to the ego. Make the other person feel good, and they'll be more likely to make you feel good in return. Avoid getting carried away, but know a simple compliment is very powerful.

Timing is everything. Would you ask your spouse for a big favor when you come home two hours late from your golf outing? Unlikely. There's a time and a place for everything! Be wise! It's also a good time to point out that being reasonable is a sure-fire way of winning in any situation. It's a lot easier to borrow a few bucks than it is to ask for thousands. Right? Keep your request reasonable, and it will probably be granted. If you want something big, be prepared to bring something big to the table.

Influencing others is a learnable skill. Those with good skills have an easier path through life. Persuasion skills can be applied at work, home, in all relationships, and even to interactions with strangers. Some people are seemingly born with the ability to lead and influence others. The rest of us have to learn. Do you ever try to negotiate the price of your new car with the dealership from which you're buying it?

What do you think about using some of these techniques to begin being persuasive in all facets of your life? Now is the perfect time to get started!

This is a topic I'll be discussing in more detail. I've leveraged myself as an expert in the power of persuasion, influence, and negotiating skills. These and other disciplines and skills I've learned over my entire life in three decades of a successful career, persuasiveness that has positioned me as a leader, having expanded my circles of friends so far and wide I can't keep up with my own social calendar, the influence that has taught me how to ask for exactly what I want, often yielding me the answer of 'Yes' that I otherwise wouldn't have received had I not persuaded myself to ask or had been persuasive enough to ensure the only answer that could be delivered was one in the affirmative. Remember: the power of persuasion in negotiation always makes you the leader and the influencer.

I'm excited to bring you more content about how you can learn these skills, so please…don't touch that dial, and stay tuned!